your new mother

“Honey, I'm home!” John yelled as he slammed the front door shut. Another long day at work and a walk home in the rain had not left him well-tempered.
“Honey, where are you?” he demanded in a voice that reached through the house. Mandy had been acting strange lately and he couldn't really put a finger on why, so he wasn't surprised when he didn't get an answer the second time.
Kicking off his shoes, irritated, he threw his coat on the empty dining room table before trudging into the living room. The stench and sight that he absorbed just about sent him over the edge.
“What the hell is this?” John yelled at the top of his lungs. The infant laying naked on the floor started crying and Mandy tried to settle it down and put on a clean diaper.
“Ssh, you are making him anxious,” Mandy said in a quiet voice. “And his name is Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake. Quiet Jake! Your new mommy is here!”
John stood there in disbelief. “Mandy, we don't have a child! I don't have a son! What the hell is this thing! Where did it come from?”
“Oh, John, quit being such a worry-wart!” Mandy replied, still whispering. “His mother left him in the cart at the grocery store while she went to grab some fruit. And no one should leave there baby all alone in a cart, even if they are only going down the aisle! His mother was obviously not a good parent, so I took him. We can be better parents.”
It took him a second, but the realization hit John like a rock. “You stole a baby? Right in front of his mother?” He looked around, realizing that they also didn't have baby supplies or diaper. He saw his white silk dress shirts on the floor, torn to shreds. They all were almost completely brown, covered in fecal matter and spreading it all over the living room carpet.
Mandy turned around, the sanity still not back in her voice. “John, John,” she looked at me, face, hands, and arms completely covered in the same brown that was on all my shirts. “We, are his new parents. We, will do a better job.” She tried putting her hands around his shoulders and giving him a kiss.
His blood pressure was through the roof. “You're a crazy bitch!” he yelled and pushed her away. “I'm calling the police! You've lost it!” He stomped back into the kitchen and nearly yanked the phone off the wall. John watched in horror as Mandy stood there watching, licking her lips.
“But John, John- we will make much better parents!” she attempted to plead.
“Hello, Police? I'd like to report a missing person,” John said as he listened to the repetitive, almost voice-recorded nature of the operator on the other end of the line.
“Well, if we can't have it, then it will never have good parents!” Mandy attempted to reason with herself. She licked her lips one more time and gave out a drunk-like giggle, and walked over to the fireplace. Grabbing a metal poker, she kept giggling and knelt down next to the baby.
“Hush Jake, Jake, Jake. Mommy is going to take good care of you, hehehe,” she giggled again, the tremble spreading from her lips over her whole body.
John felt the tug of his heart and mind as he knew what was going to happen next, but he was too entranced in watching that he couldn't even move his feet. He watched as his wife's smile turned to a scowl and a screech came from the baby's mouth and lungs as it was stabbed and torn into pieces by the metal rod. Red syrup shot everywhere, mixing with the brown on the carpet and on Mandy. The screaming subsided and the giggling continued.
“Sir, are you still there?”